


Jack for a Day

by orphan_account



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Comedy, Crazy, Cursed, Hand Jobs, Masterbation, Mirror Sex, Obsession, Other, Possession, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Selfcest, Tragedy, Tragedy/Comedy, Unreliable Narrator, Unstable protagonist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-27 22:56:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19799464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Nakayama set up the New-U station wrong after scanning Jack's memories for Ai-Jack, making it so Jack couldn't resurrect using the New-U. It just so happens that after Nakayama fell down the stairs, he did resurrect.... in Jack's body.





	Jack for a Day

**Author's Note:**

> People can tend to be a little weird when they’re by themselves. Nakayama is a little creepier than most people. Nakayama in Jack's body is even creepier. This is like 3 stages of separation from humanity. I was laughing and cringing the entire time writing it. Please don't take it seriously. And good fukkin luck reading this my dudes.

Everyone had assumed that Nakayama wanted to digitally clone Jack because he was disgustingly, fettishingly in love with the man. 

This was undeniably true. 

But after Jack died, Nakayama’s fervor reached a heightened pitch. It was, after all, Nakayama's fault that Jack was never properly resurrected. He had taken a brain scan of Jack for the cloning project and… he didn't quite calibrate the New-U system correctly afterwards. This had been a dire error of the highest degree, and Nakayama would tear himself apart to amend that mistake.

But at the end of the day, when Nakayama went tumbling down the staircase, his last regret was that he and Jack had never gotten to kiss. 

A perky female voice said: 

_ “This is the last life prepaid for in your account. Enjoy your New-U and for goodness sake, don’t squander it~!” _

White lights and blue squares flashed across Nakayama's eyes and he was dumped onto the ground. A groan left his mouth. His frazzled thoughts (to be fair, they were always frazzled) struggled to understand what just happened. He was falling down the stairs, and there was the sound of breaking bones and clunking metal, and then… well, he probably died.

Wait, did he just get….  _ New-U'd _ ?

Nakayama looked at the New-U machine and grabbed it on either side with wide eyes. How did this happen? He could have sworn that he was taken out of the resurrection list after Jack died! Unless… they must have forgotten to take him off. He had one more chance after all: another opportunity to bring Handsome Jack back to--

  
  
Then he saw his arms. They were hairy and tan, with a wristband on one side and familiar tattoos on the other. The sight of them was enough to knock Nakayama to the ground. “Jack?” He said, dazed, looking around -- but wherever Jack was, he spoke over Nakayama. “Handsome  _ Jack! Come out! Pleaaase!”  _ Nakayama whined, and then gasped. He looked down at his hands again. “No… it couldn’t possibly be that… I am now Jack? that I am now…  _ Handsome Jack? _ ” He reached for his face and felt the mask. He touched his collar and the clothes. He put the yellow shirt over his nose and breathed in deeply. This proved it -- he even  _ smelled _ like Jack (so yummy).

His New-U calibrations weren’t just off, it seemed: they were nearly blasphemous.

He got up and looked around him, the shirt still covering his nose. He recognized this place. He was in Candlerakk's Crag, near his own cargo hold base. Nakayama had returned physically close to where he last remembered being alive. He glanced at the New-U station and confirmed with the automatic clock that he had spawned here almost immediately after dying as well. There were no creatures around, as the vault hunters had already killed everything for miles, and the respawning took much longer for low-tier customers.

"Heaven… heaven is real... and it has blessed me with being Handsome Jack!" Nakayama trembled, closing large hands and pumping them into the air. His love blossomed; he started to tear up and kiss the tattoo on Jack's -- his -- arm.

"This must have happened for a reason, and I’ll make it work. I’ll find a way to bring you back, my Jack!" he said through his tears. After all, Jacks body was so, so fine -- but his mind was what made Handsome Jack truly beautiful. The next conclusion was a simple one: “I must protect this body until I can retrieve you.”

The picture was complete. He just needed to get cyber implants, then he and Jack could be installed together in the most  _ intimate _ way. This would be more perfect then the original plan.

He wiped the tears away and had just started to walk towards his home base when distant voices reached his ears. 

  
“...gun I found,” a male voice said, oddly familiar. “Shame about the weirdo though!”

  
  
“Oh my god, I know! He was so creepy! I wanted to  _ kill him _ !” a young girl’s voice rebelled. Nakayama recognized that voice: its screaming rage as the owner took down Nakayama’s beloved Jackenstein. One of the Vault Hunters -- the teenager with the orange hair. Teenagers, as he remembered, had always been cruel to him. How he feared her most.

  
  
That meant that the other one was probably that hunky Vault Hunter she had with her. The one with the turret. They were all still here, then! The sneaky lean one that used a freaking knife for some reason! The midget with two guns! The  _ Siren _ ! 

  
  
He had to hide.

Making whimpering noises, Nakayama ducked into a nearby yurt. He distractedly patted himself down, trying to think of a plan. The heavy pocket-watch couldn’t help him, he already knew the time! What else? Right, Jack had a pistol on him. Nakayama started to fumble with the clasp on the pistol holder, but his fumbling fingers couldn’t get a good hold. Shaking, he stepped further inside the small enclosure until his back was to the cloth wall. 

“My AXE didn’t EAT THE BLOOD!” a deep voice said, as footsteps got closer.

  
  
“I know, buddy,” an airy voice said. “But let’s concentrate on the good. You were on so much fire, and that was pretty great, right?” The footsteps started passing by.

  
  
“Be still a minute. I thought I saw something move. It will taste my blade.”

  
  
Nakayama’s hand flew up and he gripped the pocket watch over his heart for support. The entry curtain lifted and the tall assassin peeked his head inside. They locked gazes, with the outnumbered and unarmed scientist too afraid to speak. 

  
  
“Anything in there?” someone called.

  
  
The assassin left the tent. “I guess it’s nothing. I thought I saw it open, but it was the wind.”

  
  
Nakayama was too shocked to speak. Maybe he was a ghost after all. The footsteps started to fade, and Nakayama started to breath again. His eyes darted around the room, falling on the sheen of broken glass.

There was no one staring back at him. 

Nakayama yelped involuntarily, his grip coming undone on the pocket-watch. Like magic, he faded back into view -- or rather, Jack’s body did. Nakayama gripped the pocket-watch again, taken aback. He disappeared. He let go and reappeared. Then he gripped it again, and disappeared. “A cloaking device… I never knew about that,” Nakayama breathed softly, impressed. It was a trump card. Leave it to Handsome Jack to be prepared for everything -- he was such a genius. Even now, Jack was saving him. Nakayama almost started to cry again, but reminded himself that the Vault hunters were still in the area.

  
  
Change of plans. He would fast travel to a hotel, spend the night, and then come back to this location in the morning. Once he was back to Candlerakk's Crag, he would to rob his own corpse and get the drive that held Handsome Jack’s clone. Nakayama was fairly sure that those nasty Vault Hunters wouldn’t have taken  _ that _ . It was the real secret of his lab, after all.

He looked around for something to disguise himself. There were a few wooden Savage masks and robes in the corner of the makeshift room. Carefully, he went through the masks and put one aside for himself. Many of them were reproductions of the Jack’s mask (which Nakayama was now actually wearing!) and would not be helpful in this case. Somewhat grudgingly, he picked up one of the dirty, discarded robes. He braced himself at the idea of putting something so dirty on top of Jack's desirable visage.

He hated covering Jack’s pristine outfit with dirty cloth he'd found in the tent, and he  _ really  _ hated putting one of those nasty non-Jack savage masks on his face, but it had to be done before he left the location.

Being inside Jack was beginning to make Nakayama feel lightheaded, but that could have also been the multiple near-death experiences. As soon as he was safe inside a suitable hotel, he told himself, he would feel more like he had a grip on things.

  
  
Nakayama -- hand held tightly onto the cloaking device -- quickly sneaked out of the tent and looked around. So far, so good. Still invisible, he crept up to the Fast Travel station near the New-U and put his free hand onto the scanner. It asked him where he wanted to go. Nakayama hesitated, and then decided on Sanctuary. It was, helplessly, the only place he could go where he knew he wouldn’t be interrupted in the middle of the night by a psycho raid.

  
  
When he landed in Sanctuary, he hissed at the buildings and the people who walked by. It was half to be in character as a Savage, and half because he genuinely hated everyone who had spoiled Handsome Jack’s reign. Nakayama pulled out Jacks credit card in order to pay for the hotel he would be staying in temporarily, vowing that he would pay Jack back by any means possible. The cashier stared at the card for a few extra moments, causing Nakayama to sweat. But without a fight, she let him book a room.

It was with relief that Nakayama sat on the mattress. He pulled off the disguise and dusted himself off, taking time to breath.

  
  
A moment passed.

  
  
Nakayama’s face cracked into a smile. “I did it!” He shouted into the air, shaking. He stood and shook his heiney while praising himself in sing-song: “I did it, I did it, I snuck past those stupid Vault Hunters, I did it, I did it!” He cackled, the adrenaline high evolving into good old-fashioned mania.

Oh god, why did his body feel so  _ healthy _ ? He could even  _ run _ if he wanted to! Thinking that, Nakayama stood up on the bed and faked jogged on it while laughing. He let himself flop down in the middle of a jump, causing him to bounce off the bed and onto the floor with a thud. 

  
  
“I’m okay! That didn’t hurt!” he reassured no one in particular, face down. His head turned to the side and he noticed a full-length mirror nearby. He saw a body lying on the ground a few feet away and stared. 

  
  
Somewhere in his mind, he’d remembered that he looked like Jack right now. But with everything that happened, the concept had somehow drifted away from him. Dazed, Nakayama stood and touched the mirror. Handsome Jack touched him back.

He’d been distracted the first time he revealed himself in the mirror, but that was not the case right now. The mirror revealed his greatest wish. Part of him had thought maybe he was in a dream up until now. The majority of his new life so far had been horrible, but things would turn out better starting right now.

The Jack in the mirror was wearing a strangely mousy expression; Nakayama strained his features to be more neutral. Jacks face mimicked him, relaxing. He tried to arch his eyebrows, to look serious, but it turned into more of a pout then anything, and he couldn't hold the expression and ended up cackling. The mania returned with full force. "I’m Handsome Jack, I’m Handsome Jack," Nakayama giggled, prancing heavy steps around the room in a chaotic dance. 

  
  
Someone thumbed the floor -- probably the tenant downstairs. “Shuddup!” came a muffled voice.

Nakayama paused, frozen in fear. Then he looked in the mirror again and felt braver. “No, it is you who will do the shutting!” he yelled back, shrill. There was another thump on the floor and then silence. “I win,” Nakayama said quietly. 

He took in the rest of the room. It was simple: a curtained window with some weird stains, an attached bathroom, a broken monitor, and faded dresser with a half-used bottle of outdated face wash on top. Nakayama looked at the face wash with apathy -- Handsome Jack did  _ not _ need face wash. Handsome Jack’s face was perfect at all times. Even if it wasn’t, the mask was always on, so it was by default.

Nakayama became still. Even though he was definitely, without-a-doubt, Jack's favorite person, even Nakayama hadn’t seen under his mask since he’d acquired it. He turned to the mirror again. With trembling hands, Nakayama unclasped the metal hinges and pulled off the guard. He immediately lost sight in his left eye, catching him off guard. The flesh that greeted him was torn and messy, carved through with a blue-edged V. 

Nakayama awkwardly put the mask back on with a solid pat. Best to leave that on.

The mania slightly gone, Nakayama squared his shoulders and leaned back while looking in the mirror. He could never have done that in his  _ old _ body, the one with the case of kyphosis (well, that and because the metal he sewed to his spine crippled him deeply both physically and psychologically). The image was striking. Hesitantly, Nakayama tilted his chin upwards while looking in the mirror. A chill ran through him, and he couldn’t suppress a giddy trill. “Nakayama.” He said to himself, softly. His voice was too high, weirdly similar to his actual cadence. He tried again: “Nakayama!” The voice sounded angry - that felt right. With wide movements, Nakayama sauntered closer to the image. He put one arm on the mirror, so it looked like he was pinning someone invisible in front of him. “I’m sorry that I hung up on you all those times. I was just so overcome with joy for how hard you work that it rendered me speechless!” 

Nakayama hugged himself tightly with both arms. “Oh, Jack, I knew the whole time that you were just playing hard to get, you machiavellian stallion, you God.” 

  
  
Mirror-Jack recovered his position of pinning someone invisible against the mirror. “I am  _ Handsome Jack _ and I  _ am _ a  _ God _ and I love the  _ coding _ that you did on line 40,589 of the artificial intelligence program that you made for me… of me. I read every single line of that code -- you’re almost as smart as me. And P.S. I know it’s a love letter to me. And I love you, too.”

  
  
Nakayama saw that Jack was blushing under his mask and knew it was really himself but blushed harder anyway, “Oh Handsome Jack, you’re so wise and protective and lovable. I make sure to kiss the underwear I stole from you every night AND OH GOD I HAVE A BONER!”

His hands went to his pants, trying to push the bulge down. “OH NO THAT FEELS EVEN BETTER!” he screamed, scandalized.

It was sacrilege, letting the body be tainted before Jack could come into the body as well and become one with him for  _ real _ . Nakayama glaced up to the mirror again to see Jack biting his lip, and hesitated. “This is a very sane reaction to these events,” he reassured himself aloud. 

No one had ever touched Nakayama before. He was ‘too gross,' said the plebeians. Nakayama barely touched Nakayama once he disfigured his spinal cord. Even though he got hard whenever he thought of Jack's hands caressing him, he abstained. He’d considered it saving himself for Jack.

But now…. He technically  _ was  _ Jack… and  _ very _ Handsome.

  
  
“No,” Nakayama scolded himself for his hubris, "I can’t.” But his own voice sounded  _ so good _ that it really didn’t make the situation any better. 

_ Okay _ , he told himself,  _ but what’s worse? Doing this now and being calm about the whole thing, or having Jack become one with me while I continue to have an erect custard launcher? _

So he was really going to do this, huh.

“Come on,” he tested himself, tentatively, “you know you wannaaaaa.” And with his own goating in his ears, he couldn’t say no.

The fact that the dick was Jack’s, and that he could touch it, and that he  _ felt _ it being touched, was almost too much to bear. Actually, why hadn’t he come yet? Nakayama didn’t usually have such a good hold of his ejaculation. Impressed, he patted the tip of the penis gratefully. Jack must maintain the thing well enough to grant a lasting sort of endurance. 

His clothes were starting to darken with precum, and Nakayama shrieked at the idea of staining Jack’s clothes. Best to take them off.

With shaking fingers, he undid the belt and the pants. Underneath there was no underwear, just an aroused dick. Nakayama didn’t touch it right away, captivated by the picture in the mirror. It lifted the yellow shirt slightly, dripping clear drops onto the carpet. It was beautiful and extremely sexy, with salt-and-pepper hair planted around it. Nakayama let out a sigh and ran one finger along it as he observed. Fatter at the bottom then the top, veins ran through the length. He stared at it a while.

  
  
_ The real veins of Helios,  _ Nakayama thought after a while and cackled possessively. 

All the admiring had actually deflated the penis quite a bit. Nakayama let out a slightly uncomfortable breath, conflicted because he both wanted to study it more and have a release. And anyway, it was hard to easily grab it and use it like this, when such an elaborate display was so visible. Nervous and giggling, Nakayama flicked the penis gently. It swayed back and forth. He did it again, enjoying the friction more this time. He grabbed the dick carefully, feeling more comfortable, and gently squeezed. It felt good, but Nakayama had an idea to make it feel better.

  
  
“I don’t think you’re creepy at aaall, Nakayama, you  _ hunk _ . Your spine is so… curved and delicious,” Nakayama said to himself, his eyes narrowed while a small spasm of warmth went through his body. He watched his own reaction closely, hungrily. Jack’s hand on his penis tightened and loosened. This was definitely working. “I, Handsome Jack, want to rule the world with you as my right hand man,” he grunted with Jack’s voice. 

Nakayama let out a spittled breath and leaned closer to the mirror, fogging it slightly. “Touch me,” he begged into the mirror. And then he did. 

  
  
When he came, his cum splattered onto the glass and he let himself ride out the pleasure, leaning heavily on the wall so he wouldn’t fall. He wanted badly to close his eyelids as he shivered, but he forced himself to look into his eyes, his mouth parted with lust. 

  
  
He placed a kiss on the mirror, gently.

After it was all over, Nakayama grunted softly and fell backwards until he flopped on the bed, dick still out. He caught his breath and gulped.

  
  
“I can’t believe that just happened! I can never let him know!” Nakayama said both things with the same amount of happy certainty.   
  


It was getting really loud in the other rooms -- there was muffled yelling. But all of the Pandorans were the same - chaotic and loud. They all needed to be tamed.

  
He tried to imagine what life would be like a year from now. He and Jack, in the same body, ruling over all mankind. Everyone would be forced to wear collars and call them god. Every single being in the universe would have to get rid of half of their blood every week in order to not ever have the energy to oppose them. Maybe Jack would have the body six days a week and then Nakayama would have the body on Saturday and make them both waffles in an apron. 

Thinking of this, he felt somewhat hungry. He stood up, wiped some of the cum residue onto his fingers, and laid back down. Lavishly, he started to suck on one finger at a time. 

Loud thumps came from the landing outside his room, but Nakayama wouldn’t let himself be bothered -- if it was that same guy who wanted him to quiet down from earlier, he could go bother someone else. 

Head still wrapped in the moment, Nakayama shouted “Woooo!” to the ceiling. 

The door burst open.

  
  
Brick, the Vault Hunter, charged into the room. He turned to Nakayama, ready to fight, but then stepped back in surprise. "Who is--? Ugh, gross!"

“Thought you could rent a room under the name Handsome Jack and I wouldn’t know about it?” Lillith blistered, stepping into the room after Brick, “How stupid are yyyyAAAAH.”

Nakayama yelped as well, reaching for his pocket watch.

"Brick!" Lillith yelled as Brick leaped. Nakayama went invisible, but Brick was able to grab him before he could get away.

"I do  _ not  _ like touching this guy, Lil!" Brick yelled. 

Nakayama squirmed, bearing teeth, “You bitch! I’m not even who you think! I’m nothing to him! You will never kill Handsome Jack! He’ll be back! No one can get rid of Him! He’s a god! He’ll live forever!”

"Who  _ are  _ you?" Lillith demanded, "Why do you look like Handsome Jack? Why are you  _ naked _ ?"

"I am half of a god, a husk of eternity, I am he who Handsome Jack will be!" Nakayama screamed. "He will riiiiiise!"

"Oh my god, what's that on your fingers?" Lillith yelled.

"Nothing, don't worry about it!" Nakayama yelled.

"He's wiping his dirty fingers on my shirt! That's it, I'm dropping him!"

"No, don't drop him! We need to know who he is!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH take this! It's cum! And spit! Take this! And this!"

"I AM VERY UNCOMFORTABLE!"

"Brick, no!"

"You can’t bully me!" Nakayama rolled with the fall and turned invisible. Twisting to his feet, he pushed the windows open and jumped, prepared to hit the ground and start running.

Only there was no ground to look down to.

A distant voice (“Did he just--”) shot above him as he plummeted down, his wax wings of hope and Handsomeness melting away in the sun.

And he still had cum left on his hands.


End file.
